Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Batman Versus

Here’s a game you can play with your friends. It’s especially good on long car rides.

So in case you didn’t notice I’m a big nerd. I’m especially partial to comic books. When you’re a comic book nerd you often find yourself in an argument over which character could beat which in character in a fight (Superman versus Thor, The Joker versus the Green Goblin). One thing I noticed over the years is that whenever Batman is included he always wins. Universally. It doesn’t matter how powerful his opponent is; the understanding is that Batman can defeat anyone or anything provided he had enough time to prepare. That’s really messed up when you think about it but I swear 90% of fans I talk to are in agreement about this.

So here’s the game: Batman Versus. We all know that Batman can’t be defeated so it’s boring to drop his name in a Super Hero Versus discussion. Instead this game focuses on not if Batman can defeat his opponent (Because we all know he can) but how he does it.

Players: You need at least two players for this game, and maybe a third person to act as a judge.

Rules: The first player challenges the second player to explain how Batman defeats someone or something. It needs to be an organic and natural explanation or else it won’t count. The first player and the judge decide if the theory is sound.


More dead lovers than OJ Simson

Batman Versus Daredevil: This is the most basic challenge you can get. It’s almost insulting. If you use something like this be prepared to receive eye rolling on the part of the other players as they rip it to shreds.

Surprisingly Ineffective Villain

Batman Versus Thanos: This is a little better; Thanos is like the Darkseid of the Marvel Universe after all, and therefore a powerful foe. It’s still a little lazy because it’s still a comic book battle. Don’t you have any imagination?

I use it to drink my milk

Batman Versus Darth Vader: Now we’re getting somewhere! Not only is Darth Vader a powerful enemy but he solely exists in completely different medium from Batman and therefore the player would have to think outside the box a little to give a satisfactory explanation. This is about Medium Difficulty.

Remember when Star Wars was cool? Me neither

Batman Versus The Galactic Empire: This is what I’m talking about. Not only can Batman beat one person at a time but he can also best whole galaxy spanning threats if he had enough time to prepare. Now you just have to tell me how he does it.

I still can't afford to see a doctor. I'm just saying...

Batman Versus The Healthcare Crisis: For experts only. Can Batman succeed where our government has failed? Duh, of course he can. But how does he do it? Also Batman can defeat states of mind.

Feel free to use this game on your next road trip. However be careful if you plan on using it at parties or bars if you want to pick up women because the one thing Batman can’t defeat is the perception that comic book fans are losers.

Note: The only thing Batman can’t defeat is Squirrel Girl as she is just too powerful. Using Squirrel Girl in the game is an automatic disqualification.

Maverl Comics' Only True Superhero is Here!

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