Fake review after the jump.
Originally posted 4/1/13
I’m so happy that I was able to catch G.I. Joe: Retaliation. Even though it was supposed to come out last year the anticipation for this film has only grown. Those of you who have been reading my blog for years know how much I loved the first G.I. Joe movie (except for those lame talking parts, of course). How does the sequel stack up?
[WARNING: Spoilers Ahead]
|Bang bang bang!|
Thankfully they got rid of that loser Joseph Gordon-Levitt from the first film. Man, what a waste of space. The guy is soooo dull. Did you see that movie where he had cancer? 50/50 Shades of Summer or whatever? I think I reviewed it? Man, what a chick flick. Anyway instead here we get The Rock, who’s not only a powerhouse in Hollywood but is also tearing it up as the WWE Champion, taking time away from far less deserving full-time wrestlers and not performing at local events. Hell, I think The Rock is in about sixteen movies this year. Next up: Fast & Furious 6. I got my ticket, do you?
The plot is good. I mean, I was kind of confused a lot of the time, especially when they were talking, but I just zoned out during those parts and waited for the explosions to start so it was all good. The action was top notch. The fact that the camera’s tendency to shake a lot during key fight scenes making it hard to see what was going on just increased the tension for me. Also, and most importantly, Adrianne Palicki who plays Lady Jaye is really hot and spends several scenes hardly wearing any clothes. You guys know that’s how much I like that kind of stuff.
G.I. Joe: Retaliation gets 5 out of 5 Adorable Pandas.
-I can’t think of one!!!!